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When It’s Not What You Thought It Would Be.

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Yoga teach­es us that what­ev­er our chal­lenges we can turn them into learn­ing. What makes the dif­fer­ence is our own inter­nal approach. In our respons­es we can make choic­es that increase our sense of lib­er­a­tion and love no mat­ter what the sit­u­a­tion. We can move through and beyond the strug­gle to find mean­ing in our expe­ri­ence. Here I’ll share with you some­thing of my moth­er­hood expe­ri­ence, like I do in the book, fol­lowed up with a Spilt Milk Yoga prac­tice, and some ques­tions to guide you in your own self-inquiry. The Shock of Birth – my expe­ri­ence Giv­ing birth was…

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Turn Burning into Learning with Self-Inquiry

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Spilt Milk Moments — 5 Things You Can Ask Your­self to Turn Burn­ing Into Learn­ing. Spilt Milk moments are a part of moth­er­hood. Some­times they are BIG and OBVIOUS, some­times they are small, snag­ging at your aware­ness with a lit­tle gut-tug of “Oh, some­thing about that wasn’t right.” So can we do some­thing with those moments to evolve our behav­iours, to glean a sense of progress amongst the rep­e­ti­tion of chores, to choose new respons­es rather than trip our­selves up on the same old habits and humps? Here are 5 sim­ple self-inquiry ques­tions I shared in a con­tri­bu­tion arti­cle to…

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Anxiety, Worry, Fear and Overwhelm — Honour Your Self. Sharing Chapter 23 with you

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How are you going with the school hol­i­days? Jug­gling your kids and oth­er work com­mit­ments — feel­ing guilty that you’ve farmed them out while you sol­dier on — try­ing to squeeze in the qual­i­ty moments you think you should be hav­ing but not feel­ing it? Or per­haps you’ve nailed it, you’ve carved out this time for a road trip, craft­ing activ­i­ties, sand­cas­tles and flow, and you’re wran­gling sib­ling fights and domes­tic tasks like Nan­ny McPhee. For now. We expect so much of our­selves, we want so much for our kids, and some­times those things mount up, and under the pres­sure…

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What is My Task in this Mothering Moment?

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That dark shape in the mid­dle of this pic­ture is a nest. And on that nest is a moth­er black­bird. And under that moth­er black­bird was an egg that is now a baby black­bird. We have watched over the last four weeks while the nest and its inhab­i­tants have been thrashed about in the branch­es, storm-tossed by wind, drenched by rain, and pelt­ed by hail. It is amaz­ing that the nest has with­stood the ele­ments and that the egg and chick stayed on board. Through all of the tumult that wee mum has held relent­less­ly to her task. Alfred Adler…

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OWN IT — Embracing Motherhood as Path

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An arti­cle I wrote for The Yoga Lunch­box about Spilt Milk Yoga — What it is — Where you can get some more — and How moth­ers are chang­ing the world!  Moth­er­hood is a fast-track oppor­tu­ni­ty to gain­ing self-knowl­­edge. What does self-knowl­­edge mean? What is inner work and how do we DO it? How does one actu­al­ly self-tran­s­­form? Moth­er­hood is like the most intense, long haul retreat you could ever go on; you meet your best and your worst behav­iours, and no mat­ter what you have to show up every day and be “Mum”, even when you don’t feel up to…

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OWN IT — Applying the Practice of Compassionate Learning

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OWN IT – Apply­ing Com­pas­sion I’m try­ing to do right, but I’ve done it wrong. I kid you not, I just caught myself writ­ing this text to my 16 year old; “My point is I wasn’t ONLY mad at you. I showed up with your stuff. You asked me how I was and I let you know that it does break up my day hav­ing to bring you warm stuff…” STOP! What am I doing? I am jus­ti­fy­ing, rant­i­ng, feel­ing right­eous indig­na­tion. I have anoth­er go. I try to apol­o­gise and repair but it gets away on me. “I apol­o­gise for…

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Growing Intention

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Spilt Milk Yoga isn’t about the age of your chil­dren. It’s about YOU as a human in progress. I wrote Spilt Milk Yoga because I need­ed a way to give shape and a sense of progress to the mush of reac­tions, prac­tices and aspi­ra­tions going on in my head. I have used this Inten­tion chap­ter numer­ous times regard­less of my children’s ages and for dif­fer­ent sit­u­a­tions, and my answers are always dif­fer­ent. I wrote the guts of this chap­ter when my chil­dren were 3 and 6. Now they are 13 and 16 but I am still prac­tic­ing Inten­tion. I guess…

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THE INVISIBLE PROBLEM – Part 3. Finding Our Value and Staying Sane Today

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Cur­rent­ly moth­er­hood exists out­side the sphere of net worth mea­sure­ments, except as a cost in sick days and mater­ni­ty leave from paid work, or as a career-stop­per for all those degrees that go “nowhere”. Although in the big­ger pic­ture moth­er­hood could be seen as adding val­ue, as a solu­tion to nation­al ills, health expen­di­ture and per­son­al and soci­etal heartache, I couldn’t wait for cen­tral gov­ern­ment to wake up to this before I took action, my kids would have left home by then. If I couldn’t change gov­ern­ment approach to social pol­i­cy I fig­ured I would have to change my approach…

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THE INVISIBLE PROBLEM – Part 2. Mothers Valued as the Foundation of Social Health

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Why is it that moth­er­hood is an anom­aly in our social struc­ture? Why is moth­er­hood such an under-mined, invis­i­ble asset and not treat­ed like the gold­en resource that it is? Because it’s val­ue is immea­sur­able, not able to be mon­e­tized? Does it only count if it can be boiled down to its net worth? Per­haps moth­er­hood is out­side the box because it was there before the box was built, and the blokes that built the box just took it for grant­ed. Moth­er­ing is like the sun­set; impor­tant, always been there, we need it, we love it, it’ll keep hap­pen­ing regard­less.…

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THE INVISIBLE PROBLEM – Part 1. Motherhood Undervalued

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…there are invis­i­ble prob­lems all around us, ones we can solve. But first we need to see them, to feel them.” —TONY FADDELL, CEO, NEST Many con­tem­po­rary moth­ers, like me, have had spe­cial­ized edu­ca­tions, suc­cess­ful careers, incomes and aspi­ra­tions when they become moth­ers. We’re achiev­ers, we want to be our best at what­ev­er we do. Moth­er­hood runs counter to so much of the suc­cess indi­ca­tors our soci­ety mea­sures by. Whether we return to paid work and jug­gle work hours along­side the demands of fam­i­ly life, or work at home full-time rais­ing our chil­dren, our lives sud­den­ly have a dif­fer­ent pri­or­i­ty…

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